For simple variable access, I have been using something like ...

package ... ;

BEGIN
{

for my $opt ( qw< l i s t > )
{
  # Normalize.
  my $sub = lc $opt;
  $sub =~ tr/-/_/;

  no strict 'refs';
  *$sub = sub
          {
             # get|set a variable based on number
             # (and/or kind, value) of arguments passed. 
          };
}

}
[download]

... Moo|Moose may allow less text to type; provide more flexibility, validation, etc; haven't bothered yet.

As for not being able install new modules, you could copy the text of the modules which are written in pure Perl (don't need a C compiler). That won't help when the newer perl syntax is present, obviously.