I am not really a huge baseball fan, but I do live in the Bay Area, and I was sad that even though Barry Bonds broke Big Mac's home run record, he didn't get as much press in the sports pages. So, this obfu is a chronicle of Barry's season...

my @actions=("hits","smashes",  "bashes","whacks",
"pops","drives");my @places=    ("outta the park",         
"into the bleachers","over" .         " the fence"
                ,"into the"            ." stands")
                 ;srand;for     ($i=1;$i<=73;$i++)
            {$hit_index         =rand@actions;$hit 
           =$actions            [$hit_index];my $a     
          ;$place_i                          =rand 
          @places;                           $park
          =$places               [$place_i]; print   
          "Barry ".              "Bonds ". "$hit ";      
           print                 "number $i ";print
           "$park"               ."!!!\n";}my $end
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