Thank you all for your input, contradictory as it sometimes was. It's all pretty academic for me -- for the time being, as I won't be submitting modules to CPAN any time soon -- but it's great to get the input of the community.
--

($_='jjjuuusssttt annootthheer
     pppeeerrrlll haaaccckkeer')=~y/a-z//s;print;
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