Ok ! Here's my first JAPH...

Not so complicated, but I think the idea could be enhanced...

Any comments/ideas/enhancement are WELCOME !!!

if (!$c) {   # let's have fun !
  $c='FOO';  # bar??
  open($c,$0) or die "can't open $0";    # So, now we do it clean?
  @c=sort {length($b)<=>length($a)}<$c>; # here is the key !
  $c=join"",@c;chomp $c;                 # quite classical.
  $c=~s/sort.*?(<\$.*)/$1$2/g;           # bit of magic ?
  eval "$c";    # Abracadabra !!!
}#It's over...

die unless ($you=="understood???");

$why = 'try it for I can Justify my rant'  ;
$seeker=='Arhuman'  and  $Fools=='others';
$Perl = 'my way to Hack, my way to think';

$_ =substr($c,381,1+2+1+15+15+50+43+50+19+25+100+6+10);
if (length()<30){s/(.*)/\n\n$1\n\n/;print}
s,^(.{12}).{05}(....).....{10}(....).*,$1 $2 $3er,s;
s,^(....).{31}(..)..............{4}(....*),$1 $2$3,s;
[download]

In case of it doesn't work : The layout is VERY important.
Some Netscape users reported a problem after copying/pasting, if you get a weird message, please check that you don't have an extra blank line (there are only 3 blank lines)

UPDATE : Doesn't seems to work on Windows...
I'm working on it..