Who is stalking who here? And I do not believe you about the COBOL. You say you will go back to COBOL, but in a private message to me you say

hi, you seem to have a lot of free time on your hands, instead of trolling perlmonks I suggest we write some Perl code together, what do you think ? :)

So you are a liar as well as a dickhead (in your own words and currently the highest ranking dickhead in PERL according to Google) and you will sadly not give up on Perl. I also decline because I am here for the trolltrolling, not the perlwriting.