My perl is tasty fresh. Thank you for your sagacious comment.

I do not need a reresher. I need someone to point out the obvious mixup in my very simple code that will not return a value for some reason.

I do NOT need a pointer to the 4 tutorials i have already read last night before posting here.

I do NOT need a sub example : I can do subs just fine. the question is why is the package not returning the value.

I do NOT need Someone to rewrite my code in 2 lines.

And of course we knew all this because you mentioned it in your OP...

What? No? Not there? Oh, yes, then our ESP, that would have told us...

Oh, dear, Acme::ESP is offline? Oh noes!

Seriously, please do not chastise those who volunteer their time to help you, and who rely solely on the information you are generous enough to provide in order to do so. Thank you.