But the silliest part of this is that they want you...

Yes, I agree. People don't take into consideration that "speed" not only refers to execution speed, but also to implementation speed.

But the main problem is: Decisions like these are often based on management directives and gut feelings, rather than facts. I fear that even if you have the better arguments, it will be hard to turn the tide. It is amazing how perfectly willing a company can be to waste their employee's time.

To improve your working conditions, maybe you can get your boss to read The Hacker FAQ. ;-)