When people visit, they are sometimes hurt if they don't see their gift in use. When you say "I gave it away," they won't all be happy to hear it. Being honest about what you want--be it something for yourself or a donation to a charity--prevents the accumulation of junk. Can Oxfam really use 20 espresso makers and a dozen clocks, or might it be better served by a donation which allows it to purchase whatever supplies are needed? Also, he wouldn't be limited in his choice of charities if he requested donations. And why is it wrong for him to request things he wants, which he intends to purchase anyway? That has the end result of one item being purchased instead of two (less packaging waste, etc).

-kudra, who prefers donations in her name go to EFF, ACLU or NOW