Yes, it is true. We at Microsoft have labored long and hard to de-educate people, and these rogue OS's are not helping our cause at all. People need Windows ... they are just simply too stupid and desperately need our guidance and knowledge. Just imagine if these OS users actually thought for themselves ... where would the world be now?

"Friends don't let friends use anything but Windows" is our new campaign slogan. We have invested close to a billion dollars into this campaign, so look out Linux! Imagine being reported by your neighbor or even your children for using anything but Windows. So give up your silly little antiquated command line interface ... join the mouse!

Of course, some would accuse Microsoft of dealing in less than ethical business practices, such as using vapor-ware to elimate possible competition. Let us remind you about our Butterfly. Would a butterfly do something mean like that? Of course not! It's a pretty butterfly. Fly pretty butterfly! Fly! Microsoft is your butterfly. You like Microsoft. Buy our products. Don't question authority. Don't look into source code to see what evil pipeline we have created. Did I say 'evil'? I meant Butterfly! Look at the butterfly!