if ($pizza eq 'hot' && $order eq 'on time')
{
     $tip = 'nice';
}

if ($pizza eq 'cold' || $pizza eq 'made wrong' && $order eq 'late')
{
     $tip = 'shitty'
}

if ($tip = 'nice')
{
    take_new_delivery();
}

if ($tip = 'shitty')
{
    blame_grunt_below_you();
    atleast_its_free_food();
    take_new_delivery();

}

# gotta love having a 'blame bitch' below you AND free food *chuckle*

[download]

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: Woes of a Pizza Delivery Guy
by hardburn (Abbot) on Nov 17, 2003 at 14:49 UTC

    Sorry, but when I saw the title, I was expecting something like this:

    %AMERICA_BEST_AT = (
    music                      => 1, 
    movies                     => 2, 
    microcode                  => 3, 
    high_speed_pizza_delivery  => 4, 
);

pizza( time => '30_min_or_less' or free_trip_to_scilly() );

    [download]

    ----
    I wanted to explore how Perl's closures can be manipulated, and ended up creating an object system by accident.
    -- Schemer

    : () { :|:& };:

    Note: All code is untested, unless otherwise stated

[reply]
[d/l]
[select]
Re: Woes of a Pizza Delivery Guy
by neilwatson (Priest) on Nov 17, 2003 at 21:15 UTC
    Not all woes: 
    if ($tip = 'hotty_in_robe'){

   #it happens believe me

   push @good_places, "this location";
   take_new_delivery();
}

    [download]

    Neil Watson
    watson-wilson.ca

[reply]
[d/l]
True tales of a disgruntled pizza delivery guy
by Anonymous Monk on Nov 18, 2003 at 00:52 UTC 
    if (++$been_here{$this_location} > 4 and
    $total_tips{$this_location} == 0) {
  $pizza->eat_slice if $driver->is_hungry;
  if ($driver->has_flu) {
    $driver->cough_on($pizza)
  }
}

    [download]

    And while we're at it:

    if ($location->is('affluent') and $this_tip == 0) {
  if ($customer->try($coupon) and ! $coupon->good_on('delivery')) {
    $driver->refuses($coupon) and
    $driver->pockets($coupon->amount);
  }
}

    [download]
[reply]
[d/l]
[select]

Back to Perl Poetry