in reply to Woes of a Pizza Delivery Guy

Sorry, but when I saw the title, I was expecting something like this:

%AMERICA_BEST_AT = (
    music                      => 1, 
    movies                     => 2, 
    microcode                  => 3, 
    high_speed_pizza_delivery  => 4, 
);

pizza( time => '30_min_or_less' or free_trip_to_scilly() );

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----
I wanted to explore how Perl's closures can be manipulated, and ended up creating an object system by accident.
-- Schemer

: () { :|:& };:

Note: All code is untested, unless otherwise stated

In Section Perl Poetry