Meetings get stuck for a number of reasons. A very common one is that people drift out of the here-and-now and get stuck in the past. This often happens in response to some form of "why?" question. (Why did things happen that way? What went wrong? Why did you/they do that? etc.) "Why" questions are great for derailing a meeting, since the answers often generate a lot of smoke and steam, but add little to moving the project forward.
The next time you're feeling stuck in a meeting, take a few moments to observe whether the discussion is in the here-and-now, or somewhere in the past. If the meeting is stuck in the past, and you can identify who the primary culprit is, you might be able to get the meeting back on track by using this simple, two-step process:
What does this mean? It's actually pretty simple. When we drift off into telling stories about the past, our minds get disconnected from our bodies. Our body is in the present, but our mind has drifted back in time. You may have noticed how you suddenly snap back into present attention if someone touches you while your mind is elsewhere. The touch "got your attention", reconnected your mind with your body.
A finger on the arm of whoever has drifted off into a story is often enough to get them back into the present, but you can't always touch someone in a meeting. In this case, make the touch verbal. Interrupt them, then say something like "That's interesting, but as you sit here in this room, in this meeting, ..." Verbally, this connects their mind with their body, and gets them back into the present moment.
The next step is to direct them towards the near future, by following on with something like "... can you apply what you learned in that situation to our present problem." This directs their attention forward, where there's some hope of progress.
Here's what the two steps sound like together:
"Dave, that problem is interesting, but as you sit here right now, is there anything you learned about that problem that'll help with the one that we're discussion here right now?"See the pattern? Get them back into the present, and direct them towards the future. With focus on the future, meetings finish sooner, with more satisfaction all around. With a bit of practice, you can turn a stuck meeting around without anyone realizing what you've done. (An important survival skill if you want to avoid having a management hat thust upon you.)"Lisa, that situation was frustrating. As you're sitting here setting here in this planning meeting, is there something you learned about that situation that you could apply to the problem we're facing now?"
"Tim, that was hairy, but that was a while back, and we're sitting in a planning meeting with a bunch of nasty stuff ahead of us. What's your next step?
The next time you're stuck in a meeting with someone droning on about the past, try this and see what happens.
In reply to Unsticking Stuck Meetings by dws
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