I forgive you for misreading/misinterpreting my text. I never stated I had a problem. I was looking for a simple answer to the question of why 'unless' evaluates differently than 'if' with respect to subroutines and returns--not "Hey, my code is broke..what is the best way to fix this!? Help!".
While I appreciate your attempt to help, you didn't and that's ok. You should probably read and understand the question before popping off an answer. If I ask you your hypothesis on global warming, please don't tell me how to fix it--I'm looking for the cause.
Thanks for playing,
Chris