Re: If perl was a woman...

If Perl were a woman:

I wouldn't understand her so well.
She would shop for new stylish GUI's incessantly.
Command line switches would all start with "-Please honey?"
Her logic would be tempered by occasional mood swings.
CPAN would have flowers growing in its garden, and new curtains to match its color-coordinated CSSheets.
One liners? I don't think so. No such thing.
Golf? Finish your chores first.
She wouldn't need sort, as things would never get out of order in the first place.
She wouldn't be able to execute scripts that require maps.
V-strings would never have been invented; too darn uncomfortable.
She would call her male friend to help whenever a bug is found.
CPAN would be her closet full of mix-and-match accessories.
Use of strictures no longer optional. But warnings will be in the form of stern looks.
She would no longer become jealous of the computer when her husband spends long hours fiddling with her code.
There is still more than one way to do it.

Dave

Comment on Re: If perl was a woman...

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Re: Re: If perl was a woman... by Anneq (Vicar) on Mar 30, 2004 at 12:46 UTC
If Perl were a man: You wouldn't need CPAN. Perl would only "require" beer, food, sex, and sleep. Command line switches would all start with "-Are you in the mood, Honey?" Scripts could use maps but would have help disabled. Hashes would be piped in. Date functions would result in memory leaks. Two different scripts running on the same computer would cause a race condition. Anneq	[reply]
Re: Re: If perl was a woman... by davido (Cardinal) on Mar 30, 2004 at 06:57 UTC
Ok, I have to post a few more.... If Perl were a woman: Larry Wall would become a hall-of-fame'er akin to Don Juan, Rico Suave, Sean Connery, etc. Saints would be sinners. PerlMonks would be envied by geeks worldwide. We would all become entranced by her charm. People who regularly use Perl, C, Java, Python, Ruby, and Visual Basic would be known as polygamists. People who set up websites to sell CGI scripts would be known as pimps. Public Domain scripts would be a little like the free-love movement of the 60's. My email box would start getting spammed with messages whos subject lines shout, "Hard-core Regular Expressions EXPOSED!" XS programming, Symbol-table manipulation, and blessed filehandles would earn your script an "R" rating. Modules and Packages would all contain new shoes, except for package main, which would contain chocolates. Dave	[reply]