For me, the shoe is (finally!) on the other foot... I have to call our (outsourced) tech support. *They* often need the ClueBat (eg - me: "Your last router table update blocked ports I need" them: "Have you tried rebooting your PC?" me: "AAAARGH!") I'd like to see this:

foreach $tech_support_call (@queue) {
  if ($user->{clueful} {
    $TSC->escalate($tech_support_call);
  } else {
    $TSC->follow_script();
  }
}
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Update: changed subject to something more relevent