in reply to Re^7: Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity-- Now definitely OT
in thread Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity

I am sincerely very sorry, and embarrassed, to have caused offense here. I clearly messed up big time, talking about courtesy, but actually offending further myself.

I very much appreciate your letting me know, as I did not realize it myself.

Addendum: Having had a few hours to think, I can see that I was, at the least, grossly insensitive, flip, condescending, and too wrapped up in my own thoughts to see it. There's more than that, but for now I'm still too dense to see it clearly enough to address it here.

Perl Monks deserves better from me, and I will try to provide it. This thread is probably too deep for anyone to read or care, let alone to later remember and feel a helpful urge towards me, but if anyone does remember and sees me heading in this dirction again, please, please let me know. I now have a week long trip, away from the internet, and this has given me something to ponder on it, and hopefully it will do some good.

  • Comment on Re^8: Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity-- Now definitely OT

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Re^9: Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity-- Now definitely OT
by BrowserUk (Patriarch) on Aug 25, 2006 at 19:42 UTC

    Sincere or not, an apology for having caused offense, without understanding of what and why it was offensive, is ultimately hollow.

    Examine what is said, not who speaks -- Silence betokens consent -- Love the truth but pardon error.
    Lingua non convalesco, consenesco et abolesco. -- Rule 1 has a caveat! -- Who broke the cabal?
    "Science is about questioning the status quo. Questioning authority".
    In the absence of evidence, opinion is indistinguishable from prejudice.
[reply]
[d/l]
      I'm sure many of us have unintentionally hurt someone, especially while we were young children still blissfully unware and naive about many subjects. Understanding is not necessary to care and many times acceptance is more important.

      Has anyone seen Prozac Nation? Did the mother ever understand her daughter? I don't think so but she does finally accept her. Even if you cannot understand why something offended you can learn to accept that that individial is sensitive to certain subjects and respond accordingly.

[reply]

        What you are saying is, that although you may not understand how you've caused offense, it's permissible to be sorry that you have caused offense. Ie. You're sorry that the other party is offended.

        Now re-read 569383.

        There is also the situation where even when the cause of offense is explained, it is impossible for you to understand why the other party is offended. In these circumstances, it's possible to feel sorry that the person is offended, without feeling the desire to apologise for the words/actions/non-actions to which the attribute the offense.

        Example: I don't like rap music. To my ears, most of it does not fit my definition of music. That statement may offend many millions of rappers and rap fans. I'm sorry that my opinion causes them offense, but it doesn't change how I feel about the genre.

        Examine what is said, not who speaks -- Silence betokens consent -- Love the truth but pardon error.
        Lingua non convalesco, consenesco et abolesco. -- Rule 1 has a caveat! -- Who broke the cabal?
        "Science is about questioning the status quo. Questioning authority".
        In the absence of evidence, opinion is indistinguishable from prejudice.
[reply]
      I don't understand if/why that matters?
[reply]

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