in reply to Re^8: Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity-- Now definitely OT
in thread Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity

Sincere or not, an apology for having caused offense, without understanding of what and why it was offensive, is ultimately hollow.


Examine what is said, not who speaks -- Silence betokens consent -- Love the truth but pardon error.
Lingua non convalesco, consenesco et abolesco. -- Rule 1 has a caveat! -- Who broke the cabal?
"Science is about questioning the status quo. Questioning authority".
In the absence of evidence, opinion is indistinguishable from prejudice.
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Re^10: Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity-- Now definitely OT
by Argel (Prior) on Aug 27, 2006 at 03:02 UTC
    I'm sure many of us have unintentionally hurt someone, especially while we were young children still blissfully unware and naive about many subjects. Understanding is not necessary to care and many times acceptance is more important.

    Has anyone seen Prozac Nation? Did the mother ever understand her daughter? I don't think so but she does finally accept her. Even if you cannot understand why something offended you can learn to accept that that individial is sensitive to certain subjects and respond accordingly.

      What you are saying is, that although you may not understand how you've caused offense, it's permissible to be sorry that you have caused offense. Ie. You're sorry that the other party is offended.

      Now re-read 569383.

      There is also the situation where even when the cause of offense is explained, it is impossible for you to understand why the other party is offended. In these circumstances, it's possible to feel sorry that the person is offended, without feeling the desire to apologise for the words/actions/non-actions to which the attribute the offense.

      Example: I don't like rap music. To my ears, most of it does not fit my definition of music. That statement may offend many millions of rappers and rap fans. I'm sorry that my opinion causes them offense, but it doesn't change how I feel about the genre.


      Examine what is said, not who speaks -- Silence betokens consent -- Love the truth but pardon error.
      Lingua non convalesco, consenesco et abolesco. -- Rule 1 has a caveat! -- Who broke the cabal?
      "Science is about questioning the status quo. Questioning authority".
      In the absence of evidence, opinion is indistinguishable from prejudice.
        If you do not feel sorry that you hurt someone's feelings then any apology is a hollow one. If you actually care about the other person's feelings then it isn't. I don't need to understand why someone likes or does not like rap music. I just need to know that they like it or do not like it so that I can avoid or raise the topic as appropriate.
Re^10: Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity-- Now definitely OT
by Anonymous Monk on Aug 27, 2006 at 14:42 UTC
    I don't understand if/why that matters?