I had a quick scan through some of your PerlMonks nodes and in every case you seemed get good answers without the nastiness that you suggest you've seen in some of the forums you have used so I guess the answer to pretty much all your questions is: "Use PerlMonks".

Generally if you take the trouble to write a good node, provide appropriate sample code, input and output data, and take care to use sensible markup the monks are pretty kind and helpful. You seem to have done that (at least the nodes I checked) and seem to have received a good response.