exodist,
I frequent #perl (freenode) as well as here and I have seen my fair share of people asking questions that result in frustration. The frustration is usually mutual. Sometimes it is an XY Problem, sometimes it is beause they haven't read How (Not) To Ask A Question, and sometimes it is because they meant something other than what they said (I know what I mean. Why don't you?). Often I find it is because people aren't speaking the same language.

If you want to know something you know you shouldn't do because it is a bad idea then say so up front. Also explain why you want to do it. Don't be too narrow in the why, make sure you explain your overall goal. Explain what you have tried so far and what your reasoning is. If you are intentionally eliminating a solution - explain why up front so you don't waste anyone's time. Don't spend a lot of time arguing. There will be a lot of people throwing questions and insults at you and you may end up missing the one that understands AND is helping.

Don't read more into a question that what is asked. I have been accused more than once of intimidating someone's intelligence and as well as their knowledge of perl. This is confusing since they are the one asking for help. Answer the question honestly and without emotion because sometimes (not always) you abandon a path prematurely because you think it can't work and the person asking the question does know more than you.

More than anything, don't get sucked in. If things get heated, back off. Thank everyone for their help, tell them you are going to wander off to try some things and that you will be back once what they have said has sunk in. Then, do just that. Write up short examples with what you THINK people suggested. Reflect on the things people said and see if you can't reframe your question more in line. If you found a few promising leads, send private messages. When you do go back, start over but when you are recapping what it is you want to do, why you want to do, what you have tried, recap the ideas given to you so far and point to the pastebot to show that they didn't work. Be careful in how you say "it doesn't work". I would suggest, I am sure it is my lack of understanding but I couldn't get this to work.

Finally, be realistic. You are not going to reduce the negativity and animosity to 0. Many of us are arrogant and rude without cause. Remember you came in asking for help for free to do something we all know (including you) is a bad idea. Even a rude egotistical jerk can provide the answer. Try not to fuel the fire but also demonstrate with your tact that you are not going to be walked over either.

Good Luck!