Putting on my other hats, I can completely understand Abigail-II's point (though maybe it was a *little* OTT...) I've been in the position before where I've been invited to an event, stated quite clearly that I *may* turn up and then received a fair amount of stick when I didn't / couldn't.

Although you may not be a 'VIP-spotter', many other people are, often to the point of being scary! Being 'known' in a community can carry a certain degree of responsibility and create expectations, which Abigail-II may not be prepared to take on. As a perfomer, people often expect me to be 'always on', and can be disappointed by my (relatively) normal persona IRL. Sometimes, one needs a peer group rather than an audience.

Cheers, Ben.