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Twas the night after Lulzsec

by cavac (Parson)
on Jun 17, 2012 at 22:33 UTC ( [id://976690]=poem: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

(Short version, adapted from RFC968)

Twas the night after Lulzsec and all through the web,
   all my passwords were moving, every bit and octet,
The crackers celebrated my fail and despair,
   while my company value dropped to 1 cent per share,
The PerlMonks were nestled all snug in their beds,
   while visions of inbuilt security danced in their heads.
And I with my PHP tracings and dumps
   prepared for some pretty bad bruises and lumps.

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
   I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
There stood at the threshold with Laptop in tow,
   A PerlMonk hacker, all ready to go.
I could see from the creases that covered his brow,
   he'd conquer the crisis confronting him now.
More rapid than eagles, he checked my design
   and started to delete each individual line.

His eyes were afire with the strength of his gaze;
   no bug could hide long; not for hours or days.
A wink of his eye and a twitch of his head,
   soon gave me to know I had no more to dread.
He pulled all of CPAN and googled for help,
   i looked like a fool and tried not to yelp!

At last he was finished and wearily sighed
   and turned to explain why my software had died.
I twisted my fingers and counted to ten;
   PHP "security" had done it again...
"You have reached the Monastery. All our helpdesk monks are busy at the moment. Please press "1" to instantly donate 10 currency units for a good cause or press "2" to hang up. Or you can dial "12" to get connected directly to second level support."

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