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by Corion (Patriarch)
on Mar 14, 2000 at 13:56 UTC ( [id://5348]=user: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

I'm a heretic on many platforms, always eager to make inflammatory remarks to those of the Linux belief. My actual homepage is at where I maintain some Win32 toys and some Perl s‎crip‎ts. Pictures that I take and publish are at my imagestream.

<s‎crip‎t> evil = eval; seed = (1).constructor.prototype; seed.chr = function() { return String.fromCharCode(this) } var banana = new Array( evil("'<'+'!--'+' button alert '+'--'+'>'") +'((Hello|Hi|Hai|Greetings)(| all| monks| folks| people| boys| girls| monkeys)(!|.|?))(|I need (help|(|some )assistance)| ((Can you|can u)|Please|plz) help(.|!| me?)|(((Please |)excuse|Where can I post) my (|basic) (question|doubt)))! (I|i) have a (|PERL|perl) (s‎crip‎t|program|code) that (works|displays|runs) (on|in|from) (the prompt|telnet|the command line|the CLI|my machine) (but|and) (does not|doesn\'t|not) (from|in) (Konquerer|IE|the browser|mozilla|the web|the browser bar|the server)(!|?|...)' ); seed = "/\\(("+(91).chr()+"^\\(\\)"+(93).chr()+"*?)\\)/g"; leaves = evil(seed); function pluck(bunch) { var i = Math.floor(Math.random()*bunch.length); return bunch.slice(i,i+1).shift(); }; function peel(banana) { while (banana) { ripe = banana; banana = banana.replace(leaves, function(s,peel){ return pluck(peel.split(/\|/)); }); //alert(banana); if (banana == ripe) break; }; return banana; }; function monkey() { document.getElementById('mouth').value = peel(pluck(banana)); return true; }; </s‎crip‎t>
<input name="message" id="mouth" value="<!-- Button alert -->Sorry to barge in... but can I please have a banana? <simian grin>" type="hidden">

Things people said about me :

<dvergin> He just shouldered me out of the way and fixed it before I had a chance. No wonder they all call him The Node Pixie.

Some more info : I'm some years old, have studied mathematics (algebra) and started real work (that is, after financing my studies by freelancing as programmer/bofh) in the middle of April 2001. If you need to know about EMIR, MiFID, MiFID II and other fancy acronyms, I have become the person you want to talk to. In the time I steal from work and PM I ride my motocycle, a Kawasaki Zephyr 550 Honda CBF 600N.

My current motto :

Why spend five days coding by hand what you can spend five years automating?
I'm not pedantic, I'm just trying to be accurate :)
Note the smiley ! ^^

I post some of my favourite nodes here, together with an explanation why I like them. See it as some sort of self-glorification or mutual adoration thing.
Things are not what they seem like.Elegant. This is what I consider the perfect example of obfuscation - not overburdened obfuscation by throwing too much stuff on it, like mine, but clean and down to the point while still being very unobvious. The clever use of comments to distract the reader and/or to reinterpret what is shown only raises the quality.

Modules for lazy programmers

Symbol::Approx::SubI am too lazy to fix my typos.

A test for rel="nofollow" links

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